Stop comparing yourself to others too much. There are always some human beings somewhere who will be better than you.
The same is true about those who will be worse than you in certain things. No other person in this world is just as you are in every aspect.
Even that sibling of yours with whom you have grown up in the same conditions, same environments and the same circumstances, is a unique being apart from you.
Comparing yourself in regard to other people can prove to be a frustrating experience, especially on a personal level.
I bet you have heard or said statements such as:
“Oh, I wish I was like her/him.”
Can you think of other statements that people say that look like they are in a constant battle of who-is-better-than-who-in-what?
In the business world, it’s a different story, businesses have to compete for survival.
However, the result of illogical individual comparisons is unhappiness and an illusion of being superior.
The disadvantages of using someone as your object of comparison in order to weigh who is better than who could cost you your happiness and peace of mind. You might develop the negative consequences outlined below together with their solutions.
Effects of Comparing Yourself with Others
A sense of worthlessness
You will feel like you do not matter which will be in fact an illusion, but that is the price paid for irrational competition.
Constantly comparing yourself to other people and using them as a measure of your success is like knotting your happiness and sense of worth for being better than other people.
What about when you lose the upper hand and meet people who are way more successful, happy or just better than you? What will you have left?
A sense of exaggerated self-importance
When you think you have outshined others, think again. An exaggerated sense of self-importance can give you a distorted view of reality whereby, if the people you are competing with end up reaching a level that seems to outshine yours, your self-esteem will experience a drastic downfall.
Loss of identity “the self”
Comparing the outside of your life with the outside of other people’s lives is more of an illusion. In case of any setback, or in case they surprise you with their success, where will you land? You lose yourself whenever you make showy displays of your perceived “glory” above others. Don’t forget to live for yourself and instead live to impress other people.
Inability to be a good loser and learner
The world is very focused on making people strive to be the best of them all —the best player, the best artist, the best entrepreneur, the best athlete, the best student, the best musician etc.
It’s not in bad faith, but such an attitude where you aspire to be the best can rob you of the inability to be a good loser when you lose.
At some point, even the person labelled as the best in this or that, has lost before or will lose in future.
There is always someone who is better than you somewhere when you meet them, seek to learn from them rather than harbouring negative emotions or coming up with wicked plans of thwarting them.
You are heading to deep seas when you spend a lot of time coming up with strategies of how to outshine others instead of planning how to improve yourself.
You might realize that the people you are in competition with are not even in competition with you.
So, if you think you are the best and with time someone comes along who trashes that idea by being better than you, what next?
Will you accept it? Or will it cause you extreme emotional distress?
Save yourself the pain, jealousy, resentment, and anger, by comparing who you are to who you want to be — a better you.
Maintain a being a better you attitude rather than being a better-than-them attitude. I
t is no secret that you will be better than other people in something but also remember that there is always someone who is better than you somewhere.
Healthy comparisons are good.
They motivate you to improve or to work harder. The challenge is to know the thin line between rational and irrational comparisons.
Then choose not to cross over to the unhealthy comparison side. Life is not a winning or losing game. The end of us all is the same.
Enrich your inner world, enrich your mind and get busy doing your thing.
Remember that everyone has their own version of reality and individual circumstances and experiences differ. Everyone has their own weaknesses and strengths.
Everyone has their own share of pain and loss. Some were born with a silver spoon some had to struggle to attain their silver spoon.
What then, will be the benefit of comparing yourself to the other person? What they do, how they live their life, and what they have should not bother you.
What should bother you foremost is your own life. Enjoy being different. Enjoy your own life as it is. Learn and improve where need be.
Measure your own improvement based on how far you have come and where you wish to go.
It’s okay to think about how you compare to others if it’s something that you can learn from them, change, and emulate.
Today onwards, stop thinking too much about how you compare to others. Comparing yourself to others will steal joy from you. Don’t lose your “self.”
Just be you, and do you. Live your life and keep living it in a manner that will lead to self-improvement.
Life is for living. Keep living. Don’t give up.